Finding the Balance: A Letter to Myself

At the ripe ole’ age of 21 you weighed nearly 240 pounds. You thought that was a lot of weight for a 5 foot 4 inch statute to carry around. At that same age you married the love of your life. Yes, at your heaviest someone actually decided to spend the rest of their life with YOU.

Fast forward 6 years, throw in 2 pregnancies and there you are, you busted your butt to get to the glorious number of 150 lbs. 90 lbs, gone. That is like watching a large sized dog just walk away. You finally weighed just a few more pounds than you did in high school. Did you brag about the accomplishment, heck yea! Who doesn’t want to throw that number around like a Frisbee? NINETY-FREAKING-POUNDS is a big deal. But guess what, you weren’t happy. You sacrificed so much to get to the point where a certain number would flash on the scale.

Now, this isn’t a pity letter. Nope, this is far from it. Over the next 2 years or so you would gain a few pounds, but you felt good. It finally sunk in that the number on the scale didn’t matter. That the size on the jeans and t-shirts didn’t matter. As long as you were happy, as long as you felt good in your body the number on the scale meant nothing.

Along the way you started learning about self-love, what it really means to LOVE yourself. Or, I guess I should say what you THOUGHT it meant to love yourself.

                ‘I love my body’

                ‘I love my curves’

                ‘This body grew two human beings’

‘My husband loves this body’

So you spent the next year or so focusing on accepting the appearance of your body. Learning to love the reflection in the mirror.

Appearance.

Let that sink in.

You were on a self-proclaimed ‘self-love journey’; but what you didn’t realize was that you were toeing a thin line. Sure, you had ‘conquered’ the ‘I love my body for what it is’ mindset, but what about actually LOVING your body. Ya know, giving it the nutrients that it craves, the water that helps you survive. Your body wasn’t made to just sit on the couch, it was made to move

Shouldn’t nourishment and physical activity be just as important in self-love as appearance? Dang right it should be. And guess what, as much as you preach about self-love, you’re only practicing half of what you preach.

Let’s work at balance. The balance of not drinking a daily Mt. Dew while still loving the curves that my body shows. Knowing that it is okay to have two fun sized candy bars a day, but let’s not turn into two fun sized candy bars, a cookie, and a stroopwaffle. How about actually stretching and moving your body instead, giving your body the love that it craves.

You will move daily.

You will feed yourself for health.

You will find the balance.

You will be able to say that you TRULY love yourself.

With much love,

A strong and beautiful lady (aka YOU)