What My First Year of Independence Has Taught Me

Written by Contributor Writer Marie Nesbitt

One year ago, I graduated from college and moved into my first apartment. It was my first time on my own and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was excited, terrified, and anxious with a whole new world right before me.

Here I am, one year later, and I can’t believe it went by so fast! Here are a few things this past year has taught me:

How to be alone and enjoy it

I loved having roommates in college. There was always someone to talk to at the end of the day, someone to enjoy a quiet night in or go out and paint the town with. My roommates were, and still are, my best friends. When I was younger, I hated the idea of living on my own. I wasn’t comfortable with being alone and had no idea how to even be alone. I dreaded the day when my friends would graduate and move away, leaving me in a city where I didn’t know anyone.But after a year of living on my own, I have grown to enjoy being alone and having my very own space. I enjoy the peace and quiet. It’s a comfortable quiet, a relaxing quiet. After a long day at work, it’s so nice to come home to an empty apartment, get into some comfy clothes, enjoy a glass of wine and settle into bed. As much as I loved having roommates, I can’t imagine ever doing it again.

You’re not supposed to have everything figured out yet

When I was younger, I thought I would have my whole life figured out by the time I was 20, let alone 23. I figured I would have my dream job, in a long-term relationship, live in a fancy apartment and know exactly what lay before. In fact, I probably have less figured out now than I did a year ago. And you know what? I’m okay with that.Graduating from college opened a new chapter in my life. For the first time ever, I had no idea what lay ahead. There was no plan. My future was wide open. My whole life, each step was planned out and I always knew what was around the corner. At first, I was freaking out. I hated the thought of the unknown. Now, I welcome it. I’m still so young. There’s so much to learn after college ends.There’s a higher plan for all of us. Although it may seem chaotic now, it will all work out in the end.

Relationships aren’t everything

My thirteen year old self will condemn me for saying this, but being single is not the end of the world. Dating has been messy, complicated, scary, and frustrating. I’ve had my heart broken, stepped on, trampled over, and everything in between. But all those experiences have been a blessing in disguise. Being single has taught me so much about myself that I never thought possible. I’ve learned how to love myself, how to have confidence and know exactly the kind of man I want to be with. I’ve learned how to be a strong, independent woman.

People always ask why I’m still single. Honestly, I love it. I can be selfish with my decisions. I have no responsibilities outside of work. I can work on myself and become a stronger version of myself. And because of all of that, I have now reached a point where I can feel comfortable letting someone else in and love the version of myself I am most proud of.