Why Social Media Has #RelationshipGoals All Wrong

Written By Contributor Writer Kara Weightman

It’s everywhere. Pictures of guys with giant bouquets of red roses, expensive jewelry, couples gazing into each other’s eyes all captioned with the same two words: “relationship goals”.

Society Has Set The Wrong Standard for Relationships

Society has set the standard for what a perfect relationship should be and it’s what a lot of young women strive for when looking for a relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have been in different relationships and would love to be treated in such ways and I’m not saying that a man shouldn’t spoil his girl. But since when did relationships become about the material things and what you look like to others in a picture? In my eyes, a relationship should be about more than that. It should be about love. This is something that I see in my parents every single day.

My Example of Real #RelationshipGoals

My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and they are, to me, what I strive for in a relationship. They started dating towards the end of high school and into college. They went to two different colleges, so they did the long distance thing before finally getting married.

A couple of years later they gave birth to their first son. Now most people think that long distance is a true test of your relationship, but my parents had an even bigger one. When my eldest brother was born, he was diagnosed with Leukemia and passed away 2 years later. My parents were beyond devastated. Statistically speaking, they could have divorced after losing a child. But that’s not the case. My parents really leaned on each other through this difficult time and were each other’s number one support systems. They never stopped loving each other.

Years after that, they gave birth to their second son, and then years after that, adopted yours truly. My parents have been through many ups and downs together and they have always stayed by each other’s side.

But it’s not just about the bad times they’ve been through that makes them such the great couple that they are. It’s also about the cute small things that they still do for each other and celebrating the good together.

My parents are always the people to show affection towards others. My mom has this little frame with a dry erase marker that you can write and erase little messages on. On the top of it, it says, “I Love You Because…” and then you write your message. Whenever I come home from college, I always see a new message on it, and they both use it. I saw notes like “I Love You Because you always help others”, “I Love You Because you help me around the house”, “I Love You Because of all your hard work you do for your business”. Let me tell you, it’s disgustingly cute. One Valentine’s day I even saw a card my dad made for my mom. To give you a little back-story, my mom is a professional card maker. She makes high quality, home made cards for people.  My dad’s attempt at a home- made card was cute. It was a piece of pink paper folded in half with cut out hearts and written with black marker across the front was “Happy Valentine’s Day”. My mom keeps it on display in our craft room, so naturally I read it. It said how much my dad loves my mom and how she is his best friend.

My parents are examples of what types of relationship goals we should be striving for. Not what is posted on social media.

Even when they get in an argument they still will talk to each other and not give the other person the cold shoulder or the silent treatment. They celebrate each other’s wins an support each other every step of the way. They know each other better than they know themselves.

When asking my dad about him and my mom before they were married, he said this to me once, “We dated for six years but were engaged for five of those years.” I gave him a puzzled look and he said, “well we technically were engaged for one.” This stuck with me so much. My dad knew he was going to marry my mom even after only a year of dating. This is truly incredible to me and I think what the feeling is when you find “the one”. You just know from the very start. To me, my parents are the ultimate relationship goal, their endless love for each other and the endless ways they show it. Not the pictures of clothes or expensive jewelry or other elegant gifts. It’s love that makes the relationship worth while.

I know my dad has set high expectations for anyone that comes into my life however I know this is a good thing. We should all strive for what we want and never settle for less. Even though we may see lots of stuff on social media, what the true meaning for a ‘relationship goal’ is just like my parents, working together through the hard times, celebrating each others win and always sharing each others appreciation for the other person.