Understanding What You Deserve
lisatarkingtonExcuses, attitudes, half-assed relationships and more are all something we have all felt when we have been in poor relationships…and we sometimes question our worth, self-love and confidence. In this episode, our host, Lisa Tarkington shares how 2021 taught her to let go, reflect and surrender in the most beautiful way to be- but more importantly what she deserves and respect for herself.
Continue to read on for the key points from today’s episode!
Reflecting on Personal Growth and Confidence
2021 has been a year of personal challenges for me, more so than professional ones. Throughout this year, I’ve taught over 30 workshops, taken on new coaching clients, and had the chance to travel and speak about confidence. But while my career has grown, the real lesson has been about learning to let go, surrender, and stop trying to control everything. When I surrender, I find peace, but when I try to control things, it only leads to anxiety and frustration.
The point here is that building confidence isn’t a one-time achievement. It’s a constant journey, filled with ups and downs. I want to be transparent with you all: even as a host of a confidence-focused podcast, I’m still learning how to let go and not be consumed by perfectionism.
A pivotal moment happened while listening to a song on Spotify, “Love Don’t” by Ryan Griffin. The lyrics hit me hard because they echoed a situation where I allowed someone to treat me less than I deserved. In my life, I’ve made excuses for people, tolerated behavior that was beneath what I deserved, especially in romantic relationships.
This song brought up memories of times when I let others’ attitudes affect me, and it made me realize how important it is to stop settling for less than you deserve. You can’t grow in confidence if you’re allowing others to pull you down in any area of life—be it work, friendships, or romantic relationships.
The journey to confidence is deeply tied to self-respect. Over the past few months, I’ve set boundaries, let go of what wasn’t serving me, and worked on understanding my worth. It hasn’t been easy, and there have been moments where I’ve taken steps backward before moving forward. But now, I can confidently say that I’ve reached a place where I no longer allow people to walk all over me.
Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying no to others—it’s about saying yes to yourself. When you start valuing your worth, you stop settling for less. Whether it’s in work, friendships, or love, knowing what you deserve is crucial to building lasting confidence.
Self-worth doesn’t just affect romantic relationships. It influences every aspect of life—how you handle work, friendships, and family dynamics. There was a time when I didn’t know my worth professionally, which impacted the way people treated me. Similarly, in friendships and family, I had to learn to stand up for myself and assert my needs.
Through self-love and confidence, I’ve learned to respect myself in all areas. I’ve learned to love my body, stand up for my beliefs, and give grace to myself and others. Yet, the hardest lesson was learning to respect myself in romantic relationships—something I had struggled with for years.
At the core of building confidence is understanding your worth. You can’t expect to feel empowered if you allow people to mistreat you, whether it’s in your professional or personal life. The journey to confidence is about self-love, respect, and recognizing what you bring to the world.
As we close out this year, I encourage you to reflect on your own life. Where have you been settling for less? What areas need more boundaries and self-respect? Remember, people can only walk all over you if you let them. So step into the new year with the mindset that you deserve the best, and never settle for less.
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