Tired of ‘Faking’ Confidence? Here’s How to Feel It For Real with Mallory Campbell

Mallory: And it’s always an inside job, right? And it can be complimented with the external too. If we’re really going layers and layers deeper, because there are usually blocks or things that come up that are rooted a little bit deeper, are limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging patterns. Kind of like we were just talking about, but it really comes down to getting to the root and when your body feels safe enough to do that, and we can’t always force it. I’m sure many people listening, we’ve tried to force something and we’re like, it’s just not time yet.

So really finding the safety within is a huge thing for so many of us. And I’ll speak for myself that I was always safe, but there’s parts emotionally that we’re just like, I’m not safe to express a lot of the things that are coming up for me right now, because I don’t know how it’s going to be received. I don’t know what the expectations are. People expect me to be this way, not this way. So it really is about going a couple layers deeper when it’s presented in a way that feels good.

But really, really allowing yourself the safety and the space to go a layer deeper. And when we get activated in these things, catch it, and then be able to sit with yourself and give yourself what you need. Finding safe ways to express yourself is a big confidence booster as well, because a lot of the things that come up for us, they’re rooted in deeper beliefs of I’m not enough. I’m not worthy enough. I can’t handle this situation. And those aren’t even conscious thoughts for a lot of us. They’re subconscious, you know? 

So really having that combination of working with the external and bringing in the internal to be able to speak your truth and find the alignment. So many people are chasing alignment. Really allowing yourself to be able to be fully expressed and have that direct line of communication with yourself is like, I didn’t know it could feel this good to do this confident. There’s also the parts of doing what you say you’re going to do. That’s a huge confident booster.

And that’s something you can do now. Like you were talking about, you set out two hours aside to do this one task and you’re like, I did everything but the task. And it’s like, if you were to just do the task, if you have the energy to do it, reflect on how you feel after that. And you’re like, oh my gosh, I feel so much better. I did that. Even if it was the simplest of tasks, right? You can check it off your list and you’re like, I did the thing that I said I was going to do. What else can I do? And it just kind of opens up this whole new way of thinking and seeing things and expressing yourself.

Lisa: Totally. And you said like the biggest thing, like there’s a couple of takeaways that I have that I want to reflect on is you said the alignment piece. And like, I will tell anybody to find that alignment. It’s not always easy. Like it wasn’t for me, I’m still working on it. 

And I think the other piece that really comes from that is the, when you finally get there, you kind of start to channel in like, I need to make this change in order for me to be more aligned. I have to make this change. But like some days I’m like, yeah, I wish I could just have a moment where like, but I can feel when I’m not being aligned. And so the hardest part is with that is you have to change sometimes your life, um, which is a beautiful thing, but the process is really difficult. 

And I think that like, as you’re even doing that with the confidence pieces, you’re like, okay, I feel this coming up. I have to do something about it. I have to align to this. That’s going to be the game changer for me, but dang, is that hard.

Mallory: It is so many moving pieces, right? Cause now it’s not always just about you. It’s about the people in your life. Other people, are they going to be affected by this? And it’s like, sometimes you have to have difficult conversations with people that don’t see the vision and you’re feeling yourself being weighed down and just energetically drained, your energy is leaking all over the place or people’s energy is leaking all over you. That is some of the more challenging dynamic parts. 

There’s so many little like micro movements there, but overall, usually we know, especially as women, our intuition is out of this world. If we can start to clear away some of the noise and the clutter that’s been blocking it for a really long time.