Dear Ladies, Stop Giving Boyfriends “Husband Privileges”

This open letter is not intended to judge women or their lifestyle. The purpose is to inspire women to value themselves and foster healthy relationships through commitment and boundaries.

Dear Ladies,

Why do you keep selling yourselves short? Why do you keep investing into your boyfriends every single piece of you while you are uncertain if you will ever get a return on that investment?

I hear and see it all of the time. Women who have lived with their boyfriends for multiple years, having their children, and yet have to beg for their commitment or even the consideration of marriage. As harsh as it seems, what do you expect?

Women time and time again have wasted their loyalty and youth, and put their futures in the hands of men who will only use them with no intentions of giving them the family or marriage they always wanted. But I think it’s time we stop blaming the man. As a woman, you have stop giving a man the chance to do so.

Which brings the question: Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?

If he can sleep with you, live with you, have you wash his dirty underwear, clean his house, and take care of his kids, why should he ever marry you? Think about it. You’re doing everything he wants without him having to worry about a long term commitment. He has it made.

You complain and wish for a wedding, a successful marriage and a husband, yet your actions trap you into settling into being a lifelong girlfriend, baby mama, and an option.

You’re worth more than that and until you realize and believe it, no one else will. Change the decisions you make and the situations you put yourself in.

Call me old fashioned but you shouldn’t be living with a man that isn’t your husband.

Playing house is not equivalent to marriage. Sure, you can use the whole “I do everything around the house. I don’t need a piece of paper to make me wife” argument, but in the eyes of the law and the Lord you kind of do. A wife is not just a servant and a marriage is not just a paper and a wedding. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that holds more weight than just a mortgage. It’s a covenant. You deserve that.

A baby does not make your boyfriend a husband. It makes him a parent.

A father and child will always be family, but that doesn’t mean that you will be with that man forever. Before laying down with or getting pregnant for your boyfriend, ask yourself if he will be there for you and your child for the long haul. Will he ever consider making you his spouse and will be a good parent to you child? If you can’t answer that question with confidence, that should tell you something.


Do not make health decisions based solely on the opinion of someone who can’t even make the decision to resuscitate you!

I see women getting their tubes tied because their boyfriends don’t want anymore kids. Do you not realize that this relationship may end in a breakup and now you will not be able to provide your future husband with children. I just can’t make sense of it because it makes no sense. It’s your body, I get it, but please keep in mind that permanent decisions should never be made by a temporary person.

If he truly loves you and wants to build with you, his actions will show it.

Don’t sacrifice your morals or get stuck in situations just because it’s the norm. Stick to your guns and respect and love yourself about all. You’re worth it and deserve only best.