Recognizing Complacency in All its Forms

I have never been one to sit idly by and let the world take days from me.

Here I sit before you, laptop, well, in my lap. I am currently considering all of the things that have lead me up to this point in my life. When did I decide to take the leap of faith and push forward with my dreams? It may very well be my Pisces nature, but I love to dream, but I can never fully see myself in any sort of state of action. Let me give you an example:

Horseback Riding:

Back story: – I used to horseback ride when I was younger, up until about fourteen years old. I had a riding accident, which lead to my appendix bursting a couple weeks later. Due to life situations happening, I had to give up horseback riding and pursue other avenues. (Otherwise I wouldn’t have given it up. I got right back on the horse after I fell off too, you know, just for the record). In an ideal world, no one would have to experience a horseriding accident, but in a way, I was quite lucky that my accident happened when I was young. I only had to take a few weeks off school and did not miss out on much. If I was older and at work, I would have needed to take time off and that is not always a financial possibility. A friend of mine recently had a horseriding accident and because she is currently unable to work due to a temporary disability, she has had to rely on her disability insurance payments to make ends meet. This just goes to show how helpful taking out insurance can be.
Current story: – I talk about wanting to get back into horseback riding quite often, but I can never seem to find the correct avenue to get back into it. Not saying that there isn’t going to be work involved, but I know I’d have to start all over again. I’d also have to find the time and the money to back my hobby.

Now, I have never been one to sit idly by and let the world take days from me. However, the more I am opening my eyes in the recent months, the more I am finding that I have let the world do just that. I can understand that I have had certain life situations happen within the past two years which have made it hard to find my center, but I have to tell you it makes me a little queasy at all of the time that I have allowed to pass.I have gotten so stuck in my work habits, general life habits, and my over all sense of the most feared word in all of the English language.

Complacency.

I came before you, on my knees, stuck in complacency. I come before you now, rising above, one step at a time.

I sit here before you a changed woman in the recent months. I finally woke up and realized that I was proud of myself for running in place. (The only time that should be acceptable in your own life is if you run on a treadmill.) I want to illustrate a few things that I have noticed encompass the all feared complacency for me below.

1) Work has become so mundane.

I cannot even begin to tell you that this is sign number one across the board. I feel like I can complete my job with my eyes closed and even when there are days that throw me for a loop, I definitely feel the call that something else great is out there. Workplace complacency can be a tricky thing. You can still love your job, but grow tired of it. I have spread my wings beyond the place that I am allowing myself to stay. I have had promotions, but I am now realizing that maybe, just maybe, it isn’t my end all avenue of employment.

2) I stopped hanging out with my friends.

I will tell you, this was a scary one for me. When I first realized that I stopped hanging out and making plans with my friends, it was actually about two years ago. I was sitting in my bed quietly, scrolling through my Facebook page, and I noticed that I hadn’t seen my best friend Matt in ages. (And I mean ages.) -What the heck was I even doing that was SO important to miss interacting with real live people? Nothing. I was doing nothing and complacent with the experience. I was allowing myself to wall off and for the record, that’s not healthy.

3) I stopped listening to music.

I have always loved music and I mean always, but there came a point when I was fully aware the only thing I would listen to was talk radio or comedy stations in my car. There was absolutely no music in my life. I stopped all vibrational frequencies that entailed music. The second that I noticed this, I immediately turned on the next station that played music and turned it up as loud as it would go.When I discovered my complacency when it came to musically opening up, I was disgusted with myself. I now have a paid subscription to Spotify to which I contribute my high data usage, but to me it is absolutely worth it.

4) Most importantly, I stopped writing.

Writing has always been my saving grace. It has been a life blood to get myself out of situations, to help myself cope, and to help myself visualize my future. I can story tell with the best of them, but for some reason I let that slip through my fingers.I grew complacent in moving away from my dreams to become a writer, listing the reasons like I didn’t have a good childhood, or I don’t write enough anyways for anyone to care. I would always talk about getting into writing or how writing would be cool to do one day, but never actually pushed myself to go forward with it.

If you learn anything from this article, let it be this one thing:

Trust me when I tell you this, No one else is going to do it for you.

You need to know that it is possible. You can get to where you want to be. You just need to have the accountability to do so. It is extremely tough to find that within, believe me, but I am taking small steps to get myself there.

And it feels great to get to know myself again.