Ask Lisa: Answering Your Pressing Questions for Personal and Professional Growth
lisatarkingtonThis week we’re mixing things up! Kelsey Snyder is taking over as host to ask Lisa all of your most pressing questions on topics ranging from personal growth, professional development, and team dynamics at work and home.
Have questions about how to improve your personal and professional life? Continue to read on for the key points of this Ask Lisa!
Self-Awareness in Personal Growth
Kelsey: We had a question come in about dealing with comparison and jealousy: Lisa, you know these are feelings many people struggle with. Has that ever happened to you? How can we effectively manage these emotions to avoid falling into a victim mindset?
Lisa: Okay, so the biggest thing that I will say is everybody, take a deep breath, because we all go through comparison and jealousy. But one of the things that I really struggled with and I’ll say in my 20s was because I wasn’t secure in myself. I had a lot of jealousy. I did a lot of comparisons. It’s like why don’t I look that way? Why don’t I have those types of friends? Why don’t I have X or Y or Z, whatever you want to think of. I did a lot of that victim mindset thought process and I started to go inward. Now does it still show up? Absolutely, like it’s still very much there, but now I have the tools that I put in place to really help me with that. I also had to start to realize like, well, who am I hanging out with? Who am I spending time with? Who? Like why am I getting jealous? Am I just insecure? And so I had to just kind of go on this inward journey, which you guys all know I’m very much about.”
Kelsey: How has self-awareness played a role in your own journey of personal development?
Lisa: Yeah so I think probably in the last year I have said the word self-awareness more than I have in my entire life, more than confidence. I think it goes hand in hand really, and I think for me, like the reason why self-awareness excites me, is because when you can be aware of your own emotions, when you can be aware of other people’s emotions, it helps you make decisions. It helps you really check in with yourself and notice, like, okay, am I getting triggered? Oh, wow, this is making me happy. Do I do this more? It also helps you realize, like, okay, this person, when they heard me say this, their eyes flinched a certain way or they felt a certain thing.
Kelsey: We’ve talked about this, like there’s a lot of different places that this comes into play. So when we recognize that we’re feeling these feelings of inadequacy or you might have a little bit of that comparison game, that self-doubt, what do you do when you notice that and how do you combat that?
Lisa: Yeah, so you’re right. This is something that I literally hear on a daily basis from individuals. I’ll share a story of a recent woman that I’ve been following online, where she applied for a new job. She was always in finance and she just recently took a chief financial officer role, so a CFO role. When she got the job, all of that imposter syndrome creeped in, and the reason it creeped in for her was because she’s like am I qualified? Am I all of these things? And it was such an intriguing moment because it reminded me that, no matter what, we’re all going to have our moments. But what she said there really resonated with me, well, I’ve done the work. No one just gave me the job because I didn’t do the qualifications and it was time for me to take that big leap and I had to get uncomfortable. The other part she said as well, which I thought was fascinating was, when you take roles like that, you’re also going to be surrounded by other individuals who know their stuff, and so it’s like you don’t have to know everything.
Kelsey: You also made me think of who you surround yourself with and how they talk about themselves and their abilities.
Lisa: Right, because you hear that and it’s so easy to go down that rabbit hole yourself. I think that that’s the other piece about how you can’t give advice to people if you’re not going to do it yourself. When I think about myself as a leader, if I’m not having positive self-talk, I can’t expect that of my team, right? So it’s very much like that ripple effect of change we want to have on people.
Kelsey: So, in addition to some of the self-talk and some of those pieces, what are other strategies that you can use to identify and kind of challenge limiting beliefs?
Lisa: So I would say the biggest thing is, first off, recognizing what is the limiting belief and being very, very clear on it. So if you’re telling yourself I’m not being fearless enough, okay, that’s a very broad thing to say. Where in your life are you not being that way? Where do you want to grow?
Kelsey: So my turn for a question. I love hearing about people’s routines and all the pieces that you’ve talked about. That’s reflection, it’s self-talk, it’s doing the work yourself before you can help and impact others with it. How do you fit that into your routine, whether it’s daily, weekly, monthly. What are some of the practices, tools that you’ve kind of woven to make it a habit?
Lisa: First and foremost, I’ve shared multiple times on this podcast that my word of the year is discipline. This is an area of my life where I have chosen to be really disciplined, because I believe that personal and professional development has to come with setting the boundaries for yourself and being disciplined in trying to grow. So when you think of routine, I would say I always want to be spontaneous. But honestly, let’s be honest, a routine is my jam. And so every morning I start out with the same routine. You know, maybe it’s having the same drink every morning, but I’m making sure that I’m playing music that’s pumping me up, starting right away with positive thoughts. I’m trying not to scroll as much because there’s the negative right there, but it’s like how do you add little things into your life throughout the day? And then also I’m going to go back to self-awareness. I’ve had to see a lot of self-awareness on where do I need to grow and where do I want to grow, and then going to seek what I need to grow in.
Kelsey: So what are three things based on today that you want to leave the audience with?
Lisa: So the first one is I’m going to go back to the word self-awareness. So I’m going to say if there is one skill that I want everybody to work on, it is having self-awareness, because it helps you with your leadership, it helps you with your confidence and it helps you with your well-being and it just helps you overall with life. And so if that is like that is a skill I want everybody to know, like if you can dive into that, it makes all the other skills kind of bloom. I think the other one is is never stop learning, and so I think I actually wrote it down because I wanted to make sure that I this is one thing that I like wanted to leave you guys with is continuous learners are 35% more likely to experience high levels of life satisfaction and overall well-being, and so that resonates so much with me because it reminds me that, like I want to be my best, so don’t give up on your learning because that is going to be a game changer in your life.
Kelsey: That’s awesome. Well, thank you for letting us turn the tables today and switch seats.
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