Sometimes Letting Go Means Finding Who You Are

“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.”

For years I have held onto the fact that I deserved a certain type of love; that a love from a man that I loved was good enough just simple because I loved him. Not because of how he treated me. I believed that we could make it work because I loved him. How completely wrong I was. I think many of us settle for a love less than we deserve or even want because we are in love. It may sound crazy, but how you could be in love with someone who doesn’t love you the way you, right? Well the thing is sometimes you don’t know the love you want and sometimes you think that what you have is good enough.

Changes from Ages 15-24

I have changed from the age of 15 to 18 to now 24. The type of guys I have dated, how I react to positive and negative things and what I think I deserve. I strongly believe as we grow, what we want changes too. There are many people in their lives that meet the right one right away and everything falls into place for them. For those people I have always been envious of and I think their fairy tale story is absolutely wonderful however this doesn’t happen for all of us. Looking back at my dating experiences of 2 weeks, 2 months, 3 years and then four years or even the times of not knowing what we were, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything. Yes I would love to take away many tears and confusion but I also learned so much about myself, what I want and what I deserve.

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.”

I think as you grow as a person you have to realize that the person that you are in love with may not be the right person for you anymore. As sad and hard that is to understand, it probably one of the most freeing things too. It means you are changing to become the unique person you were created to be. It means when you find the person that fits you hand and hand, all the hardship of letting go of a great love you thought you had, will be worth it. You won’t settle for less than what you want because you grew to be the person you dreamed to be and fell in love with someone that more perfect for you. Just think about much you loved/love that person right now and what you would do for them, it should show you that when you meet the right person how much greater it will be.

Rocky Roads

My dating experiences have been nothing but a rocky road. I went from thinking I was going to marry my high school sweetheart to having a broken heart from him to falling in love/head over heels with a boy in college to again have my heart broken, to going on crazy dates, crazy experiences and crazy adventures with multiple friends. My dating life has never been one narrow road to one person, it has never been easy and to this day I can still say I have no idea what will happen next. But one thing I have realized is, I have changed.

I have become a unique individual and I have become fully myself. I am still learning what I deserve and what I want but I have realized what I do not want. Everyone’s road is different you can either be envious of your friend that married their high school sweetheart or the girl that has 3 kids and is married that is the same age as you or watching all your friends get engaged while you cant even get a date OR you can understand that some realize what they want faster than others, some settle and some have no clue what they want in their lives so embrace your own journey.  I still have my days were it just seems so unfair but if I am being honest with myself I would trade my crazy road for anything because I wouldn’t be where I am at right now, doing what I love most or finding myself.